Step 1
Acknowledge that loving someone is a choice. Many people mistakenly believe that love is an emotion or feeling, but love is actually a choice that you make every day. When you love someone, you choose to invest in that person’s life.
Understand that when you love someone, you spend time with him. Many people claim to love their friends, spouses or children but do not carve out time to spend with them. This is not love. Loving someone means investing time in him.
Recognize that loving someone means making her a priority in your life. If you love someone, then you will not shove that person to the bottom of your priority list. You will not cancel plans at the last minute to accommodate other priorities in your life or, worse, refuse to make plans because other parts of your life are always more important.
Appreciate that when you love someone, you care about what he cares about. For example, even if you have never had any interest in construction equipment, a parent who loves her son will take the time to learn about construction equipment because HE cares about it. When you love someone, you value what the other person values.
Comprehend that loving someone means making yourself vulnerable to that person. Part of loving another person involves opening up your heart and revealing who you really are. To love someone, you must be honest and open about who you are.
Understand that when you love someone, you accept her as she is. When you love someone, you do not try to change her. Instead, you appreciate her for the unique and precious person that she is.
Realize that loving someone often comes with sacrifice. The needs of the person you love are more important than your wants. For example, a child’s need to play outside with you overrides your desire to take a nap. In some cases, making painful decisions that are in the best interest of the one you love is the truest sign of your love for him.
Recognize that loving someone involves commitment. Even when you do not feel loving toward the person, you choose to stay invested. The feelings of love might ebb and flow, but your commitment is the glue that holds the love together.
