Step 1
The first step is to just be friends. This means talking about work, school, friends, hobbies
, etc. You want to keep it casual because it is all about getting to really know him.
The next step is to analyze what he says and how he has changed since you dated last. Breaking up affect different people in difference ways and you want to make sure that the effect it had on him is positive (or at least not negative).
Now make a list of the pros and cons of trying a new relationship. Realize that this could cost you your friendship or more so you need to make sure that in your mind the potential benefit is worth the risk. If the list shows more cons then stop now and consider not trying to start something because you probably will get hurt.
Next make a list of all the things he has done that suggest that he may be amendable to a relationship. Next to the list write other possible reasons for these action besides him being amenable to a relationship. Analyze this and evaluate with a critical eye if he has given you any signals. If not trying to take it to the next step could cause hurt.
If after the lists you decide to do it them write out a list of the reasons it did not work the first time. Next to this list make a plan for how to prevent that from happening again. If you can not develop this plan there is a risk that a new relationship won’t work and it may be better to be friends.
Now take risks. Realize that you need to put out signs such as “I miss you texts” to give him the idea that you are willing to try again. Invite him to do things with you and snuggle.
Let down your guard. It is easy to try to protect yourself this time around but that will just create a wall. If you want to snuggle then do it, if you want a kiss then make the move. You need to put yourself entirely out there for him to take or leave because you probably won’t get a third chance and if it doesn’t work this time may need the closure of knowing that you two just didn’t work out.
Make sure to talk about what is going on now in your life, not the past. The past is history and dredging it up will likely only cause pain and separation.
Act and think as if this is new and take it slowly. If you do all the romantic things with him like old times you may wonder afterwards if he wants you or just any company. You want to act like it is a first, second, third, etc. date with someone new who you have no history with. The history should not play a part in making decision to do or not do things.
Do not compare. It may be easy to analyze everything and compare it to before, but do not. The past did not work and should not be used as a benchmark.
Enjoy the moments. Bask in the happy feelings your get when he is near. You never know if this will last forever or just for now so enjoy every moment that you can spend with him so you will always have the memories, even if it doesn’t turn out with the fairytale ending you want when you start this relationship.
