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When a relationship grows stale, couples tend to believe something is wrong. Maybe I chose the wrong partner, or maybe my partner doesn’t care about me. What if there isn’t anything wrong at all? You just need a spark …one way to do that is to talk about the start of the relationship. Talk about how you met, talk about the music you used to listen to, got back and reminisce…. It’s sure to put a smile on your face.

Here are some questions from by Barbara Markway, Ph.D. that can get things started.

  1. How did you meet your partner?
  2. What first attracted you to your partner?
  3. What did you do on your first date?
  4. When did you know this relationship could be something special?
  5. What made you think the relationship could be special?
  6. What did your friends think of your relationship?
  7. What did your family think?
  8. Did you have to overcome any obstacles to be together?
  9. What made you decide to get married? (if you did)
  10.  What did you like about how you communicated?
  11. What kinds of things did you enjoy doing together?
  12. How did you let your partner know you were loved and cared for?
  13. How did you nurture each other?
  14. What did you feel were the strengths of your relationship?
  15. Did you feel that any past hurts or pains began to heal by virtue of your relationship?
  16. What were the times when you felt most deeply connected What were you doing? What were the circumstances?

Other activities we’ve found helpful in remembering your special love story:

  • Listen to music you both previously enjoyed.
  • Watch movies that you enjoyed together in the early stages of your relationship.
  • Read to each other passages of books that were important to you.
  • Look at photos or videos from happy times together.
  • Return to a restaurant you enjoyed together but haven’t been to in a long time.