Research and understand the “Rubber Band Theory.” This is a simple notion that as Partner A pulls away, Partner B pursues in fear. Partner A, who needs space, continues to pull farther away to get the space she needs. In order to have resolution, Partner B must allow Partner A to pull away or move in the opposite direction. Due to the “rubber band” holding them together, the natural inclination (due to tension on the rubber band) of Partner A is to return to Partner B.
Give your partner physical space first. Men especially feel the need to withdraw themselves physically from situations in order to allow themselves time (and space) to mull it over. When he has come to a conclusion, he’ll return and be ready for discussion.
Find other things to do with your time and busy your mind during your loved one’s down time. Fixating on when she’ll come back or what the issue might be is actually counterproductive. Keep yourself busy so that when she’s ready to talk, you’ve been healthily occupied and can engage her in a calm, loving conversation.
