Remember to pay attention to more than just sexual positions and the erogenous zones. Learn about these specifics for sure, but widen your focus to include more. Your lover is a living, breathing person giving you lots of verbal and non-verbal clues about ways to give even more pleasure.
Look at your lover. Eyes, closed or open? Do you see looks of interest, or boredom? Are the toes curling and the fingers clenched, or does your partner look vacant? Paying attention to body language and facial expressions clues you in to what your partner enjoys, and what you should avoid.
Listen to your partner. It’s important to talk with your partner to learn about preferences in bed. When you are having sex, do you hear deep breathing, gasping, moaning? Do you hear sighs or sounds of discomfort? Know whether your lover enjoys silence, talking, noises, etc. so that together you can create a pleasurable experience.
After looking, and listening, we come to feeling. Feeling covers two things. First, be sensitive to your partner’s emotions. Experiences influence our sexual communication, so be aware of major things happening in each other’s lives. Second, feeling may refer to physicality. Feel your partner’s body. Tension and movements are very communicative and may be indicating , “yes, more!” or “stay away!” Be attentive and respectful to the way your partner’s body feels. The rewards of being an attentive lover will be well worth the efforts.
