Listen. Plainly, just listen. Psychology states that act of venting helps the state of mind. Allow your friend to vent their story in its entirety. Try your best not to interrupt them. Nod or say uh huh to let them know that you’re listening. If they ask if you’re bored or do not want to hear their story, just simply reply with “I just want to hear your story. Don’t worry, I’m here for you and I’m listening.”
Comfort. Assure them that the situation will be resolved. Try your best to calm them down. Make sure you tell them to breathe. Smile if you can. Sympathize with them. Let them know that you will be there and you will help them through their time of need. The worse thing for them to do is to seclude themselves from the world in their time of emotional distress.
Relate. Link their story to something you have gone through and how you resolved it. Keep it short and sweet. If you blab on for too long, they will feel that you are self centric. [rule of thumb, nothing longer than a minute] This will build a personal connection and they will feel that you understand their situation. Immediately after you tell your story, go right back to the situation.
Respond. From the story that they have given, try your best to respond and help them come up with a solution. Try your best not to raise your voice; even if they are mistaken in what they did [i.e. they cheated]. Tell them what you feel about the story without criticizing or nagging. Give quality advice and be truthful. This is the worst time to lie to them or give them false hope. For example, if they had just cheated on their significant other, do not tell them that they will be instantly forgiven. Rather, encourage them to seek forgiveness and motivate them to prevent it from a future happening. Tell them that the situation will become better, though it may look grim. And tell them that if the immediate outcome does not end up the way they hoped, they will eventually get better. Time heals everything. Push your friend to grow and learn from the situation.
Assurance. Tell them that you will help them through their situation; be there for them when they come back to you [which will happen]. No one likes to be alone, and at times a good friend is hard to find. You can be that good friend to them.
