Ask your partner what is his or her definition of appreciation. By asking your partner what he or she means, it will help you better understand what you need to do to make them feel more appreciated.
Stay away from listing all that you do presently. If it all mattered that much to your partner, neither of you would be having this discussion.
Acknowledge your partner’s pain. For example, if it means alot to her to get a kiss when you come through the door, start doing it. If he wants you to put the children to bed earlier, so that you both can be together, do it. You will need the ability to change your ways. Defending your present actions or sweeping things under the rug will not make the problem go away, so listen, acknowledge, and do something about it.
Put yourself in his or her shoes. Could you do something bigger, better, or different? If so, not only try to do what they ask, but go above and beyond. Who knows you may be taking your relationship to the next level or rekindling an old flame by doing this action?!
If you didn’t bring up this topic of discussion, but your partner did, then try not to rehash all your issues you have with him or her in the same conversation. However, if you brought this topic of appreciation up, be careful not to entertain a conversation that puts you on the defensive. For instance, your partner may use this discussion as an opportunity to want to talk about everything that is wrong with you! Ask your partner if he or she wouldn’t mind discussing those other issues on another day. Of course, they will accuse you of not wanting to talk about their other concerns, but do you really want this to lead into an argument? Sometimes the partner who is feeling guilty will use their concerns as a weapon against the other, both of you should sleep on it until you have calmed down. One issue a day is enough to discuss!
You will need hope by this point that he or she will see the difference you are making. From doing something unexpected (women love the men who will suprise them with a clean home) to asking if he or she needs help with anything while rubbing your partner’s back, makes anyone feel more appreciated! Make it a point to do nice deeds often not just on birthdays, Valentines Day, Christmas, and other holidays.
