These techniques work best if the topic being argued is not extremely important (i.e., you discovered your spouse was cheating, etc.)…the more trivial the issue, the better. Be level-headed enough to step back and evaluate the problem and identify it as trivial.
However, just because you realize the issue you’re fighting over isn’t that important in the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t mean that you should simply call it quits. If you want to end the fight in the steamy-est way possible, you’ll have to up your enthusiasm. So breathe heavily. Make sure your face is flushed. The more energized you feel, the more adrenaline you’ll have. With your chest heaving, make certain your body is facing your partner.
Body movements are good, but only if they’re not directed at your partner. For example, do not point your finger at them accusingly. Gestures that display your feelings without condemning the other person are good. Keep them low to your body (non-threatening) and directed at yourself. When you’re not gesturing, keep your hands at your sides – no defensive movements (no crossing your arms).
When arguing, lower your shouts to simple talking…don’t lessen your energy – just take the volume down a notch. Nobody likes to listen to people yelling at them. Try adding more breath to your voice – not to the point of hissing, but more breathy words. It will highlight how heavy your breathing has become, and reduce the volatility of the argument.
Do NOT use personal attacks on the other. Don’t call them fat, or insult their mother. We want sex, not a slapped face.
Take a breath. Pause for a moment. Let there be several seconds of silence between the two of you as you regain your breath. This is perhaps the most important step. However, you mustn’t simple “pause.” Fill the pause with energy. Transfer all the adrenaline and excitment into your eyes as you look at them. Rake them up and down with your gaze. Linger on their mouth. Back to their eyes…maintain eye contact.
Take very small steps toward them. Up until now, maintain a distance – it might seem aggressive or intimidating if you do it before now. Make sure the steps are short and slow.
Ideally, you should give them an empassioned once-over as you’re slowly advancing on them – if you’ve already done that, keep your eyes on their mouth.
Break the silence with a line that could be interpreted as passionate or affectionate. Example: “You are the most stubborn man I’ve ever met!” or “You are the most infuriating woman!”
Under different conditions, these lines could be said with an entirely different meaning. This will change the direction of the argument and open it up for a passionate kiss or a tearing of clothes.
Once you’re within arm-distance, and you’ve said a couple lines like the ones above, take another short pause. But once you feel the time is right, go ahead and pull them in for a kiss…or, if you’re more aggressive, yank them to you and start removing their clothes while pulling them to the nearest couch (or floor).
