1. Past Relationships that Have Gone Wrong
If you have ever been in a relationship that has gone horribly wrong, then you know that it can change your opinion on all relationships. You know that when you first went into that past relationship, you went in happy and then you came out miserable. When a new relationship presents itself, you can’t help but think, “Do I really want to do that again?”.
2. Lifestyle Change
Some people are very content in their single lifestyle. They may want to have a relationship with someone that they love, but they are not willing to give up the freedom that living and sleeping alone affords them. How do you know that you will be as happy if you allow someone else into your life?
3. Parents
Let’s face it, our parents’ behavior can affect us for the rest of our lives. So, if your parents had a less than ideal relationship, perhaps you are afraid to relive what you saw them go through.
4. Control
Most commitments require some sort of compromise and this can feel like a loss of control. A lot of people like to have full control over their lives and don’t want to give even the tiniest bit of control to another person. This fear of losing control can stem from other issues.
5. Fear of Ultimate Rejection
The nature of commitment is to give part of yourself to someone else. Whether it is a simple promise to be with no one else or if it is deciding to live together, you are giving something. There is always the possibility that, in the end, the person that you have given this to, will no longer want it. If you eventually wind up being happy with the commitment and it ends this way, it can be heartbreaking.
6. Inability to be Monogamous
This is different from just living a single life; some people just can’t be with one person at a time. This can cause a fear of commitment, because most commitments require monogamy for one or both partners to be happy.
7. Fear of Change
Commitment and change often go hand in hand. Even if it is something very small that changes about your life when you commit, that change is still there. If you are the type of person who fears change, then chances are, you fear commitment.
8. Fear of Being Smothered
Most people don’t like the feeling that they are being smothered by a person. Other people can’t help but smother their partners. These smothering people have problems of their own, but that doesn’t change the fact that smothering behavior is downright annoying, especially for people who value their space. So, a person may be afraid to take a step toward commitment for fear that their partner will begin to smother them.
9. Lack of Trust
Some people find it very difficult to trust another. This could stem from a lot of issues and it can cause other issues, such as fear of commitment. How can you commit to someone if you feel that you cannot trust them?
10. Fear of Loss
In a way this cause is also the fear of emotional closeness. If you have lost someone very close to you in your life, then you know that it can be devastating. You may not want to commit to a deep relationship, for fear that you will lose this person as well.
So, there are some possible reasons that a person may fear commitment. Again, there are likely many more reasons and these reasons may not fit everyone. Whether or not it is normal or okay to fear commitment is a whole other topic.
