One major problem among couples is money. Issues about money can become a ticking time bomb; waiting to explode if not confronted early in the relationship. The answer to the problem could be simple to solve and that is to make more so there won’t be any more problems about money. The real problem is not that simple to solve because it is not about the amount of money the couple has in the bank but the problem lies in how each person feels about money.
As children we are all taught differently how to handle money, so it is very important to discuss this issue before getting married. There are open-ended questions that can bring to light the issue and give you an idea how the other person feels about money. The perfect question is to ask how his or her parents handle their finance and that will open the conversation about money.
The question of how his or her parents handle their finance is not to interrogate but to have a sincere and honest wish to learn more about your future partner. As the conversation hopefully flows naturally you will add other questions like: do they have separate or joint account? Do they keep their money together or separate? Who handles the payment of the bills? These questions will lead you naturally to the other most important question as that is how she or he feels about the parent’s agreement.
The final question is to guide the conversation to help the other person open up about their feelings about money. Their response will give you big clue about his or her feelings about money. This is a touchy subject and how you were raised as a child will influence your relationship on the issue of money.
Financial issues can be prevented if spoken before getting married. But if you did not resolve the money issue before you can still learn about how to handle money in the future. There are many agencies that teach couples how to handle money and plan your future finances. Also there are great books about money handling but the most important issue is that both of you understand that money is what you make of it. Money is not the problem but how you both feel about money.
