1. Reminiscence
Get back into yourself, go down memory lane. Think of those things or events that happened in the past that made you happy, such that you think about when no one is watching and you just smile. Call it reminiscence, just travel into your world.
2. Realization: At what point in the relationship did cookies crumbled. If you think far, you’d hit the nail on the head. Once you do, discuss it without any argument. Even when you think you are right, let peace reign and agree. Men love to be seen to be in control especially in the heat of disagreement. Consent and later find a relaxed avenue to discuss further. You’d be amazed at the response compared to when the heat was up.
3. You are not the same person I married: Remember it takes two to tango. The success of every marriage depends on the parties involved. A few things do change in the course of marriage but have it at the back of your mind that you cannot totally change your partner. But you can work on improving the status quo. Reflect on the early days, recapture the picture of yourself or take a look at your old photographs and think of ways to rejuvenate. Those things you used to do to attract your spouse can still work for you. Shed off some weight if you have to, give your body a treat and splash some cologne at bedtime. Imagine you trying to seduce him all over. Tell her convincingly that she is beautiful.
4. Great expectations: You probably expected too much from your spouse – you felt disappointed when things weren’t going your way therefore, you recoiled into your shell. No! It doesn’t work that way. You seem to forget that we are all human and no one is infallible. We all make mistakes to learn from. Let your spouse know what he or she is not doing right. Discuss like adults and not teenagers without hurting each other’s pride. Remember we all have ego, we all have our pride to protect. Give room for mistakes, be flexible.
5. Create the right ambience: An atmosphere of warmth, love and care will remain in the memory for long, create one. Surprise your spouse occasionally. Set up a candle lit dinner within the home and keep him guessing what the occasion is all about. If he’s curious, tell him you are celebrating love. Ensure that the night ends up under the warm duvet. I know you can do it.
6. Keep in thought: This is the high tech era; send your spouse a warm loving text to start him off the day’s job, the whole idea is to let him know that you can’t wait to have him back into your arms. You bet he’d put so much into the office activities because he has something to look forward to at the end of the day. Don’t end it there, call him at mid day to ask how he’s doing at work but don’t over flog it, try not to be a pest, moderation is the watch word. Remember men love to be free but ensure you are forever in thought.
7. Communication: Discuss the events of the day before you dose off. Establish strong communication bond. Be your spouse’s confidant.
8. Pep up your love life: Make time out to movies or social events or the beach sometimes without the children. Create time to be together. Excitement and romance are two key essentials in marriage, don’t restrict your love making solely to the bedroom, be creative, don’t be a bore. Men love adventure.
9. Don’t compare: You had your choices before hooking up with your spouse. Don’t wallow in self pity. I wish I had known syndrome could be very destructive to a relationship, for as long as you still chose to remain together, make the best of it. Everyone has a good side, capitalize on it.
