The blame game? That’s easy, putting the blame for everything that is wrong in your marriage at your partners feet. Unfortunately until you implement this simple technique, and start taking responsibility for your own feelings, rather than blaming your partner, nothing much is likely to change.
If you play the blame game, all you are doing is creating further anger and conflict in your marriage rather than allowing any real communication or problem solving.
Here is an example of what I mean. “You never spend time with me any more” is effectively an accusation and an attack, to which the other partner will seek to defend themselves. If someone points a finger in your face the automatic response is to want to push it away or bend it! But what if you were to say instead ” I am feeling very lonely in this relationship” isn’t this a very different way of saying the same thing?
The difference is that you are taking responsibility rather than laying the blame, and this makes a world of difference in the likely response you will get. Because your partner is not feeling attacked and accused they will actually listen to what you are saying and not feel the need to respond defensively.
This use of the “I” STATEMENT, rather than “you” is often the most important factor in restarting communication and dealing with marital/relationship problems. This enables both partners to discuss their problems in a way that the other person will listen too.
Try using this powerful tool to outline your relationship needs rather than playing the blame game, and guarantee that you will be amazed at the results. Using this simple tool saving my marriage becomes a real possibility.
