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Determine the issue that needs to be resolved. Hash out a plan for resolving it. Having a plan in place will help you to resolve the conflict peacefully.
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Work on solving issues, not on venting frustrations. When the purpose of an argument is to rehash old grievances, there will never be a resolution. Make sure you don’t throw every little problem you have ever had into the argument. Resolve one problem at a time.
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Resist the urge to attack the other person’s character. While it is very tempting to point out every personality and physical flaw in the heat of the moment, nothing will be accomplished by name calling. Hurt feelings will linger long after the argument is over.
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Recognize when there is a gray area. Not every situation will have a definite right and wrong answer. The ability to compromise can keep an argument from escalating and can help more quickly resolve the issue. Don’t fight just for the sake of being right.
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Refrain from throwing accusations at the other person. Phrases like, “you always” and “you never” should be avoided. Use statements like “I feel,” rather than “You make me feel.”
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Take time out. It’s okay to walk away from an argument to compose yourself, so that you don’t say something you will regret later.
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End the argument with both people’s dignity intact. If necessary, come back to it later on, when you have both had some time to think things over.
