- It is important to recognize it is not abnormal or even unusual to feel sad or depressed during the holiday seasons, or around other special dates–anniversaries of births or deaths or special occasions. Holidays and special dates can trigger an episode of “the blues,” feelings of loneliness, depression and melancholy, especially if one is still in an active grieving process.
We have tried to compile a list of suggestions.
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- Work on creating new rituals and traditions. Respect the old ones, but create new ones, perhaps even involving a new type of remembrance.
- Especially if you are grieving, don’t trying to be all things for all people. Learn to set realistic limits on your energies.
- Find time, make time for yourself. If possible do something self-indulgent a massage, a new hair cut or even just a bubble bath.
- Call, visit, write or e-mail a long-lost friend, someone who is house-bound, or an elderly relative.
- Get plenty of sleep and exercise.
- Try to minimize the amount of drinking and eating. During periods of “the Blues” excessive drinking or drinking will contribute to the depression and the associated guilt.
- Spend time with people who care about you, who are nurturing and supportive. Try and limit the amount of time spent with people that drive you crazy.
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It’s okay to cry.
- Walk in the Community park,
- Watch the sunset,
- Smell baking bread,
- Browse through books or magazines in bookstores, or grocery stores (especially in sections you don’t normally visit),
- Window shop without buying
- Listen to Outdoor Christmas Concerts
- Enjoy Christmas Carolers
- Enjoy free activities.
- Donate your money or time to a local Homeless shelter, Battered Women and/or Children’s Shelter, Hospice, Cancer Association, Hospital, Church, SPCA or Humane Society. Its a way of helping those who may have less.
- Keep daily expectations manageable. Remember the adage of taking “one day at time.” Set realistic goals, decide what you can comfortable handle, what you can do and cannot do. Let your family and friends know about your limitations.
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- Set up a scholarship.
- Dedicate a bench or plaque.
- Plant a tree.
- Adopt a needy family, donate to the homeless shelter for the holidays.
- Donate money that would have been spent on a gift to their favorite cause.
- Publish an ad in the local paper to remember an anniversary.
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- Light a special candle.
- Play a favorite Song.
- Hang a certain ornament.
- Hang a stocking for the loved one in which people can include notes.
- Listen to music liked by the loved one.
- Write letters or notes expressing your feelings, share them with others if it seems appropriate.
- Realize that each holiday, birthday or anniversary is only one day. Take them one occasion at a time.
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- Create rituals to remember the loved one. Create a “letting go.”
Get out in nature, walk, hike, enjoy feeling the winter chill, or the rush of skiing.
