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1. Put yourself first.

People who spend time bettering themselves have happier unions than those who always put their partner’s needs first. “When you develop your own interests (cooking, learning a foreign language), you have more to teach the other person,” says Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., ofMonmouth University in New Jersey. “Your bond will improve because you’re adding new layers and depth to it.”

2. Have quickies.

Fast sex may seem unromantic, but short bursts of passion keep you bonded because they release dopamine and oxytocin, two chemicals that trigger loving feelings. “If you’re having regular sex and stoking those neurochemicals, it doesn’t have to be amazing every time,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner.

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Ways to Make a Relationship Work  was originally published on