Hey This Is The Loverman
Always treat your spouse with respect, as you would any friend. When out in public, never put him down, talk about his faults with others, or discuss your disagreements. Present a united front to the world, especially your families and your kids. Don’t apologize for your spouse’s behavior. It is not your responsibility, it is his.
Save arguments for private moments and choose your battles carefully. Most things newlyweds disagree over aren’t worth fighting about, just differences of opinion. Which way the toilet paper hangs or whether the toothpaste is squeezed in the middle or the bottom are examples of needless fights. Whether to have children and when is an example of a topic worthy of serious but civil discussion. Never call your spouse names or belittle his thinking process. Reasonable adults can agree to disagree about most things and work out creative compromises.
Never go to bed angry. Learn how to apologize even when you don’t think you were wrong. Learn to forgive even when you know you were right. You cannot restore a loving partnership while bad blood is boiling. If necessary, get away for a while and cool off, then try again.
Take parenting classes before you have children and agree on how you plan to discipline your kids. If something comes up you didn’t expect, discuss it in private, then let the kids know what you’ve decided. Be a team. Never let the kids come between you. Your children are not your friends, and it is their job to grow up and leave. After they’re adults, they can become your friends if you’ve raised them right.
Money problems split more couples than any other. Agree in the beginning on how to handle your money, together or separately, and talk about which financial decisions are the most important. Agree on an amount above which you will check with your spouse before you spend it, and stick to it. No one likes surprise rubber checks.
Choose a spouse who shares your spiritual beliefs and follow them together. Praying for each other is a powerful glue. If you are already married to someone whose spiritual background is different, insist on mutual respect for each others beliefs.
