Karen Vaughn’s PSA Survival Tips: Thanksgiving Edition
- Don't show up empty-handed or with just drinks; let cooks serve first.
- Avoid 'new dishes' and subpar cooking; leave it to the experts.
- Maintain order, respect, and consideration for the family tradition.
Karen Vaughn’s PSA Survival Tips: Thanksgiving Edition
Holiday chaos is coming — which is exactly why you need this guide. Consider this your annual reminder that Thanksgiving is a contact sport, a family reunion, and a food-driven spiritual journey. Here are Karen Vaughn’s PSA survival tips to help you glide through the day with your sanity (and your plate) intact.
Before we get started, remember one thing: if you don’t bring food, bring respect. Now let’s go.
Thanksgiving Survival Rules Everyone Needs to Hear
1. If you showed up empty-handed or only brought a 2-liter, please wait until everyone who cooked gets their plates first. This is Thanksgiving, not VIP bottle service.
2. If you brought a side piece instead of a side dish, just know every one of us is already texting the group chat about you.
3. To the cousin who fills up Tupperware before anyone gets a plate—you are not invited this year.
4. If you know you can’t cook, bring the plasticware. Stop risking our lives.
5. Thanksgiving is not the time to “try something new.” This is Thanksgiving, not Chopped.
6. The mac and cheese will be inspected by the Auntie Coalition before being served. If it smells suspicious, it’s going straight to the kids’ table.
7. If the pie filling is thicker than Aunt Deborah’s mustache, we don’t want it.
8. If you show up empty-handed, congratulations—you’re on dish duty.
9. Stop letting Uncle Junebug lead the family prayer drunk. The blessing will not exceed 45 seconds this year. We love the Lord, but we also love hot food. Amen and amen again.
10. If your kids are running wild and tearing up the place—that’s not “kids being kids.” That’s you being assigned to the basement with them.
11. Whoever put their name on the sweet potato pie last year and brought pumpkin… don’t try us again.
12. We all have an old-school uncle who thinks he can still fight with the young dudes. Go ahead and wrap his plate in foil. The ER is usually slow on holidays—he’ll be hungry when he gets back.
13. If your gravy is thinner than cousin Tasha’s edges, we don’t want it.
14. And finally—the person on drink duty: since you can’t cook, the least you can do is buy good drinks. No Dr. Thunder, Mountain Holla, or Starry. You are not a meteorologist. You had one job.
