People often say that chivalry is dead and I agree, for the most part. Opening doors, pulling out chairs and all that, is a total lost social art. How and who killed chivalry depends on who you ask, but I believe it’s safe to shove a fork in it.
But it didn’t have to be that way. Men aren’t born hard-wired to be heartless douchebags and women aren’t born to be jackassettes. It’s all in the life experiences of the individual and how they’ve been equipped to deal with others. On a basic level, we all start out pretty damn cool to hang around. This became clear when an incident with Liam showed me the good a person is capable of before bad experiences become the bricks to the emotional walls we build to block ourselves in or throw at others.
The other day, Liam was playing with his crush, Baby, and everything was cool until–like any other kid–Baby did something that got her into trouble. Baby’s grandmother got the belt and while Baby was crying, I heard Liam crying too. I ran over to see what was going on and I see both of them bawling their eyes out.
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Liam was holding Baby’s hand with tears streaming down his face. I asked him what happened and he sobbed, “Baby’s crying.” I walked them both to where Baby’s grandmother and I were sitting prior to the butt whooping and all the while my son was hugging her and trying to console her. It didn’t take long for Liam to stop crying and once he finally did, he spent the rest of his time dancing for her and trying to make her laugh. Baby eventually cried herself into a nap while Liam hugged her and held her hand.
That was a very proud moment for me because it showed that although he’s a typical two year-old, Liam has the ability to show empathy when he sees someone hurting. Even though he doesn’t get to see Baby a lot, he recognizes her as someone he cares for and wants to be happy.
The whole dramatic event made me think of how most of us start out as caring individuals who have no fear of showing others that we feel. There weren’t any cookies or toys to be gained from Liam trying to make Baby feel better. Not even the promise of a game of hide and seek. The only thing that mattered at that moment was that he saw someone he loved hurting and he wanted her to feel better.
Unconditional love and friendship is what we all want, right? It saddens me that one day Liam will have his heart broken just like everyone else but I hope that he doesn’t allow that to shape him into a man that’s unable to enjoy the feeling of loving and being loved. I loathe the day I’ll have to have the conversation with him about people who use others and play emotional games.
For now, I’ll just hope that his loving spirit remains intact as long as possible.
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