Music is one of the most powerful energies ever known to mankind. It can make you dance, make you cry, make you want to fight, or help you (accidentally) make a baby. Conversely, it can change your outlook on life for better or for worse and I’m almost positive that U.O.E.N.O. it.
Certain types of rap music in general can have a damaging effect on your subconscious if you let it, and before long, you’ll be emulating all the things your favorite rappers do, no matter how good or bad that may be.
Do you listen to too much rap music? The answer is probably an emphatic “YES!” if…
You Refuse To Wear A Shirt In Public
If you feel the incessant need to travel through the streets topless, a la Rick Ross, it may be time to switch to another genre of music. A chest full of stretch-marked body art only looks good if your car costs more than your mother’s house.
You Cash Your Pay Check & Carry It Around In Rubber Bands
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Don’t let rappers fool you; put your money in the bank. Riding around with your paycheck stashed in your pocket is only a good idea until you lose it and are forced to feed your family from the 0.99 cent menu for a month.
You Never Take Your Sunglasses Off
Sunglasses can make the average person appear to be someone important. They can also cause cornea strain, and you’ll end up having to replace them with magnifying bifocals long before you’ve reached 50 years old. That, my friends, is a far cry from looking cool, unless you think squinting for the rest of your days is “cool.”
You Want Tattoos On Your Neck & Face
A few tattoos will give you the appearance of being a bad boy. But misplaced skin ink will give you the appearance of an unemployable ex-con. Unless you have your own business, keep the tattoos in the traditional spots.
You Constantly Refer To Women As “Bitches” Or “Hoes” & Refuse To Love Them
Too $hort and Snoop Dogg Lion can afford to buy chicks like a man with a job buys work shoes. They’ve literally paid the cost to be someone’s boss. You, on the other hand, need to chill because you have a daughter and a wife and neither deserves to be treated like a prostitute.
You Wear All Your Jewelry At The Same (Damn) Time
Rap cats usually have “security” with them at all times. They’re not too concerned with thirsty street urchins robbing them. Although all that bling you have looks nice, going to the grocery store draped in precious metals is just begging the less fortunate to relieve you of them.
You Smoke Chain-Smoke Blunts Like Cigarettes
Every rap song on the radio glorifies the magical benefits of constantly being blazed. However, you have a job that randomly drug tests, and aside from making you lazy, you can’t lose your dead-end job because of the racks on racks of child support payments you owe.
You Bought A Car, But Neglected To Pay Your Taxes.
There’s a laundry list of rappers that makes a truck load of money. About half of that list is also up on charges for not paying their taxes. They get a good lawyer and squirm out of it with the equivalent to a slap on the wrist, mostly because they are famous. That won’t happen to you. You’ll lose everything you own, get your wages garnished, and still wind up doing jail time. Prioritize or find yourself on the business end of Uncle Sam’s fiscal revenge.
You Lie About Where You Work
There’s nothing wrong with working for a living. Just ask all of your unemployed friends. They lie about looking for work, while you lie about having a job. Oh, sweet irony. You may receive a certain amount of street cred for claiming that you hustle for yours, but nobody respects a liar. Ask any rent-a-cop or corrections officer how they fell about William Roberts II Rick Ross and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.
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