When a man gets provoked and reacts, society says he’s still a man. But because I have breasts and a portal for which life travels through, when I’m provoked and react, I’m considered emotional or told to simmer down. “Temper! Temper!” they say.
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While purchasing breakfast the other morning, I saw Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on the cover of The New York Post. The front page showcased Clinton mid-outburst pounding her fists with the words “No Wonder Bill’s Afraid” A small photo of a shocked Bill Clinton added the cherry on top to drive the overtly sexist point home.
When I saw the headline, I was vexed, offended and annoyed that boys will still be boys. Not only was the front page chauvinistic, but The Post made Hillary Clinton look like a dragon lady–a word used to describe me–but they tried to make us feel sorry for poor Bill because he’s the one who has to live with her!
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Clinton testified Wednesday in front of all senators about the way her State Department handled the attacks on the diplomatic compounds in Benghazi, Libya, last September. The assault on the compounds by a crowd of about 150 militants left four Americans dead, including U.S. Ambassador J. Christopher Stevens.
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The Secretary was criticized for the lack of security at the compounds and Sen. Ron Johnson R-Wisconsin accused Clinton of not quickly identifying who was responsible for the strikes. Initially, it was claimed the strikes occurred because of protests from an anti-Muslim movie produced in the United States.
Throughout the five-hour hearing, Clinton answered questions assertively but got emotional when talking about speaking to the families of the survivors.
But this isn’t about what Clinton was saying, this is about women—even ones as powerful as Hillary–not being allowed to be passionate or intense– words also used to describe me-in front of men without it being considered “emotional,” “testy”…or worse!
Clinton wasn’t going to let the Republican Party run over her, so when Sen. Rand Paul R-Kentucky went so far as to say he would’ve fired Clinton had he been Commander in Chief, Clinton fired back.
“With all due respect, the fact is we had four dead Americans,” Clinton said as she banged on the table. “Was it because of a protest or was it because of guys out for a walk one night decided they’d go kill some Americans? What difference, at this point, does it make? It is our job to figure out what happened and do everything we can to prevent it from ever happening.”
I can just imagine the copyeditors at The Post sitting at their desks laughing, looking at Clinton like she’s some volcano about to erupt for no just cause. It’s as if a woman’s emotions are a joke!
Well, contrary to popular belief when a woman reacts, it isn’t always because her boyfriend didn’t text her back, or because she still can’t believe Leo froze to death in “The Titanic” and no, our periods aren’t the culprit. Sometimes, a woman reacts because a man has pushed one too many of her buttons, or insulted her intelligence or, in the case of Clinton, was accused of not doing her job!
As I watched Clinton defend herself, I related to her. I too would’ve pounded my fists and gotten pissed! Passionate women who aren’t afraid to push back, talk back or like we say ’round the way, “clap back” don’t fit into society’s perfect little dream house that was constructed by men and copyeditors at The Post. Women are supposed to be docile and gentle and when we’re not, men turn us into fire-breathing dragon ladies!
Now Hillary Clinton isn’t just some dame walking down the street who got whistled at by a group of construction workers. This isn’t that kind of elementary disrespect. She’s arguably the most powerful woman in Washington, so if this can happen to her, of course I can be issued some disrespect too.
By the end of the hearing, I realized I have two options when dealing with powerful men: I can play it safe, be meek, quiet and just smile and nod. Or, I can stand up for myself and risk potentially being called every unflattering name in the book.
I’d rather be a Hillary-type than be weak. Fine with me.
Shenequa Golding is a contributor to Hello Beautiful. Follow her on Twitter @GoldingGirl617
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