By John D. Moore

. Use Other Forms Of Affection

There are other forms of affection besides sex. Consider holding one another at night. For some people, the act of physical touching in the form of holding reaps wonderful benefits, including feelings of security and safety. It’s perfectly OK to make this request of your significant other and say, “Tonight, I really want to hold you” or visa versa.

2. Negotiate Sex

This particular point may sound silly, but for some people it works. Negotiating sex means setting up a few ground rules in advance. Example: “Let’s stick to oral sex tonight.” Another tip? Consider changing your schedule a bit. This may mean going to bed a bit earlier at night. And of course sex need not be confined to the nighttime. In fact, sex in the morning before work can make for a great start for the day! The point here is to work with your partner so that sex does not interfere with other aspects of your life.

3. Be Honest About Your Feelings

This is perhaps the most important point. There is nothing wrong with telling your partner how you feel. Explain to your mate that while you enjoy sex and look forward to having it, there are times when you just don’t want to. Be careful here not to cast blame or judgment. Reinforce your commitment to the relationship while simultaneously explaining your predicament. You might be surprised to discover that your mate feels the same way. A friend of mine recently told me that his girlfriend initiated sex every night because she thought that is what he wanted. After they had an honest and candid discussion, much of the stress that was placed on the relationship evaporated.


Sex is an important part of any intimate relationships. On many different levels, it communicates affection, commitment and love. That said, sex should never feel like a chore. Consider using other forms of affection, negotiate with your partner and above all, be honest about your feelings. In the final analysis, you might find that your relationship is more rewarding and the sex more meaningful.

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