If you’re not happy with something in a relationship, then you need to do something about it. The longer you leave it the more it festers; all of those negative emotions simmer away until eventually they invoke a major tsunami.
I’m not suggesting that you just pack your bags and walk off down the street. Talking is the place to start. Why is it that so many people are afraid to talk? Talking is, after all, merely an exercise of putting your thoughts into words and communicating them to the other person. In reality, the fear is not of talking, the fear is of what the other person is going to say or how they might react. There is a further fear which flows like an undercurrent beneath the surface; the fear of change, the fear of the unknown.
The irony is however that unless you overcome that fear and begin to talk, the presently dormant tsunami is likely to take you by surprise and wreak its own havoc, creating far more chaos than talking ever would. “A stitch in time saves nine” is a prophetic statement.
One very important thing to do in life is to learn to interpret your “gut feelings” and to act upon them. How many times have you found yourself dwelling upon something, dreading that it may happen but doing nothing to pre-empt it, only to find that the inevitable eventually takes place. How many times have you tried to kid yourself that everything is perfect, whilst at the same time knowing that you feel neither happy nor secure?
We all have a tendency to do this, and all because of fear; being afraid of an unwanted outcome doesn’t stop it from happening. Doing nothing about it in reality tends to increase the chances of the unwanted event. Now that is rather ironic, is it not?
This is why talking is so very important in any relationship, be it with your lover, your colleague or your boss. Just going along with the flow and letting things happen, only prolongs your anxiety, increases your fear and makes the unwanted more certain to happen.
