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Step 1

A key to rebuilding a relationship is early identification of problems. The earlier a problem is identified, the easier it is to manage and resolve. Grab a piece of paper and pen.

  • Step 2

    Divide the page in half. On one half write down your name and on the other side, write your partners name.

  • Step 3

    Start with your side. Write down all the things you do that cause problems in the relationship. Be honest and specific. (write down big and small behaviors)

  • Step 4

    Now do the same on your partners side of the page.

  • Step 5

    Pick the top 2 problems on each side.

  • Step 6

    For each problem, write down possible solutions and a specific plan on how you will work on solution. For example, if you add problems to the relationship by not spending time with your partner, a possible solution would be to set up a “date night” once a week on Fridays.

  • Step 7

    After you have identified the problems and the solutions, set up a time to sit down with your partner to talk.

  • Step 8

    When you talk, remember the goal is to rebuild the relationship. Be calm and direct. be patient. Be a good listener. Your partner may have good ideas on the issues and plans to resolve as well.

  • Step 9

    Commit to giving 100% effort, to allow a genuine chance that the relationship can be repaired and grow.

  • Step 10

    If you are unable to resolve issues on your own, professional help is available. A therapist can help identify problems and solutions

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