There are too many single women who really want a nice guy. Strangely enough, many of these single women have a single friend who they keep setting up with other women. This single friend is usually a nice guy. She means another nice guy.
From a woman who dated many bad boys and finally found her prince charming: Here’s how to stop the bad boy collection and get Mr Right.
Step 1
Dump the bad boy.
Don’t date a bad boy until you find Mr Right. It’s better to be single than trying to figure out who took the last twenty from your purse. Charm is not enough for you. If it is, then stop reading and see how charm works when you just want him to help you do dishes.
Also, a nice guy is also a smart guy. He knows better than to date a woman who still wants to be with the bad boy. You’ll never find Mr Right while cheating on Mr Wrong.
Be single.
Say no to some guys. Don’t rush. Nice guys are all over but they aren’t waiting in your apartment lobby. Even if you feel that warm rush of attraction -especially if you feel it- say no. Give yourself some time.
There are actually books written about this. Being single sucks. But it’s necessary to make the change. And after some time, it starts to be a lot better than the bad boy maintenance.
Find the difference between a nice guy and a guy with nice guy syndrome.
The only thing worse than a bad boy is a guy who says he’s nice but is just some wimp or a whiner willing to buy you dinner and tell you how much women hate him. I have spent many a date apologizing for women.
Those “nice guys” ended up being worse than bad boys. What’s the point of that? A wimp is not a nice guy. He is a wimp. Same with the whiners.
Nice guy = a man who is smart, considerate, generous, charming, has a solid group of friends, knows what he’s willing to do and communicates what he’s not willing to do, can keep a job, is not going through self-created drama (terminal unemployment, heavy drinking, begging for forgiveness).
A nice guy may have been dumped for bad boys in the past, but he doesn’t spend the first date telling you about it. He spends the first date listening to you and sharing positive thoughts and experiences with you.
Go on a second date. And a third. And a fourth.
Lust is easy to find. A good conversation and being treated well is harder to find. But how many of us have told a girlfriend after a date “He was great, we talked forever, but I just wasn’t feeling it.” So we didn’t bother with the second date.
We are ADD daters. If we don’t get the addictive feeling, we get distracted. But lust can build. Many women meet men they want to marry but don’t want to date. Read that twice. Does that really make sense?
Lust builds. A good night of conversation can lead to steamy post-date action. Just not on the first date.
Go on a few more dates. See what happens. The worst case scenario is that you have a great time with a great man. And you can use that experience for when you find the nice guy who IS right for you.
It’s okay to miss the drama.
The first three months that I dated my fiance, I had nightmares that he cheated on me and said mean things to me. He even called me fat in a dream.
My fiance was surprised by this, but a number of my happily married friends were not. Many of my friends also confessed to the same “drama dreams.”
It’s okay to miss drama. It’s okay to even create the drama in your head. But try your best not to get mad at him for what he did in your dream. The guy gets really confused by that.
Enjoy it.
Go through as many nice guys as it takes to meet YOUR nice guy. Those nice guys are going through the same thing. They want their Miss Right, too. And they likely have the same horror stories you do. And they are just as happy to wait for their soul mate. (Women aren’t the only ones who have to kiss a few frogs to find love.)
So be honest. Meet good people. Be good people. And stay optimistic. Everyone deserves a good person to be by their side for the rest of their life.
You deserve him. Have fun finding him. And have fun keeping him!
