step 1
Sit down and evaluate what each expects from the relationship and what each person is willing to give to the relationship. Sometimes a relationship hits a brick wall and the couple is no longer on the same page anymore. Maybe what each person wanted at one point has dramatically changed and evolved, so that now, you have two people dancing around each other instead of with each other. This should be done periodically through out the life of the relationship to prevent waking up one day with totally opposite expectations.
Keep the lines of communication open. Couples get busy in there individual lives, but make the time to meet up daily, whether for 15 minutes or 1 hour, and touch base with each other’s life. Let each other know the good and the bad and use each other as a sounding board to ponder what goes through your mind. Between the busy and the chaotic, it is easy to get into the pattern of invisibility, where you cohabitate in silence. So, communicate on a daily basis.
Learn how to argue effectively. Arguing is quite healthy in a relationship, but if you do not know how to argue properly, it will become a fight and not an argument. Face it, you are not always going to agree and that is okay. Sometimes, couples have to stop and listen to each other and not say a word, but really listen and hear the other person out. Too often, couples do not like what the other is saying and so they react by putting up defenses, and with their defenses come a need to defend themselves with words. Instead, try to listen to what the other person is saying, their feelings are real, and they need to be understood and validated. So, listen and acknowledge that this person you care about is feeling the way they are, and then approach it calmly.
Do not leave issues unresolved. Every relationship hits a bump or pothole from time to time. However, when those issues and problems go unresolved they pile up in the background of the relationship. Then with every new issue that pops up, you are really dealing with a pile of old unresolved issues instead of the main issue at hand.
Try to compromise. When a couple is willing to reach a middle ground, they build respect for each of other and what each has to offer to the relationship. You are two individuals with two individual tastes and perspectives. It is unfair to force one person to be something they are not and were not even before you became a couple. So, find a workable compromise that can leave both feeling good about the decision.
Make time for romance and intimacy. This should be mutually initiated, and creativity does count. Romance and intimacy does not have to cost money, and it could be as simple as a romantic picnic under the night time stars. It is the essential way to keep the relationship inspired and sizzling.
