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During Monday night’s episode of T.I. & Tiny: Friends and Family Hustle, Monica opened up for the first time to friends about her decision to move on from her marriage to Shannon Brown. She had only confided in her mother previously.

“I’ve really been dealing with a lot on my own. My personal relationship is changing so tremendously, but with the exception of my mom, it’s not conversation for me with anyone,” she said at the beginning of the episode. “I always feel like I’m bothering other people if I tell them anything that’s bothering me.”

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“I’m realizing that I really have to become more comfortable in saying, ‘Hey, the strong one over here is just not okay,’” she added. “Not just because of what I’m dealing with at home, but because I have children. I don’t want them to repeat the cycle that I’ve repeated of always being the strength of the family.”

By being the strength, Monica admitted she carried some unfair resentment towards people whom she felt hadn’t checked to make sure she was well.

“I don’t share enough, so people don’t know to check on me,” she said. “They’ve literally been with me days and days at a time and have no idea; but then I feel like, ‘I ain’t getting checked on!’ How can I feel like I’m not being checked on when I didn’t tell you?”

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During Monday night’s episode of T.I. & Tiny: Friends and Family Hustle, Monica opened up for the first time to friends about her decision to move on from her marriage to Shannon Brown. She had only confided in her mother previously.

“I’ve really been dealing with a lot on my own. My personal relationship is changing so tremendously, but with the exception of my mom, it’s not conversation for me with anyone,” she said at the beginning of the episode. “I always feel like I’m bothering other people if I tell them anything that’s bothering me.”

“I’m realizing that I really have to become more comfortable in saying, ‘Hey, the strong one over here is just not okay,’” she added. “Not just because of what I’m dealing with at home, but because I have children. I don’t want them to repeat the cycle that I’ve repeated of always being the strength of the family.”

By being the strength, Monica admitted she carried some unfair resentment towards people whom she felt hadn’t checked to make sure she was well.

“I don’t share enough, so people don’t know to check on me,” she said. “They’ve literally been with me days and days at a time and have no idea; but then I feel like, ‘I ain’t getting checked on!’ How can I feel like I’m not being checked on when I didn’t tell you?”

With that being said, she broke the news to one friend in particular first, Toya Wright, because she felt that after Wright’s two divorces, she could relate.

“I just don’t want to tell the girls yet, but I definitely wanted to talk directly to you,” she said. “It’s like, you’ve been here.”

“I just didn’t expect to be a 38-year-old single mom of three,” she added. “I didn’t expect to be in a place in my life to have to make a decision like this. This wasn’t in the plan. You want to have a relationship forever, but some things, they just don’t stand the test of time.”

SEE ALSO: Report: Monica Files For Divorce From Ex-NBA Star Shannon Brown

While she’s tried to put on a good face, she said she wasn’t behaving like herself, and people, including fans, noticed.

“I was in the store one day and this girl was like, ‘I know that you’re just trying to save face right now,’” she said. “I said, ‘I’m sorry. Explain. I need to understand what exactly you’re assuming by watching me, what, via social media?’”

“Having such a big life change, it’s like I’m finding myself not really being myself,” she added in her confessional. “My relationships are important to me. This is not something that will just end once people stop talking about it, making fun of it or anything else. This is my real life, so this weighs heavy on me. I’m not able to be the jovial Monica that people are accustomed to.”

Monica was able to open up to Toya about her decision to file for divorce, but the reason for doing so, she didn’t share, and has continued to remain mum about. There have been rumors for some time about infidelity, including an elaborate story that he fathered a child with someone else, which she denied at the time.

However, when asked by producers during a confessional why she filed, the 38-year-old thought for a moment before responding, “I can’t say.”

This story was originally posted on madamenoire.com.

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Monica Says “I Just Didn’t Expect To Be A 38-Year-Old Single Mom Of Three” Following Divorce  was originally published on getuperica.com