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Step 1

Ask. If you need time with your spouse you need to tell them. Usually you will have to be very specific with them so they know exactly what you need or want. This is especially important when dealing with a man. Men need specifics. Women are used to trying to meet everyone’s needs and many times don’t need to be told as explicitly as men do.

  • Step 2

    Explain. For example, if you have a husband who comes home late for dinner and does not bother calling, you need to tell him that you want him to call you if he is going to be late or you will worry. You can also gently explain to him that if he isn’t home when he says that he will be, that he may have to eat a cold dinner or fend for himself.

  • Step 3

    Kindness. You need to ask for what you want kindly. Don’t be a shrew or a fish wife. You may need more affection. Tell him that when he comes home that you would like him to give you a hug and a kiss before he runs off to play poker on the computer or makes over the dog.

    Tell him if you need to have more time with him one on one. For example maybe you are not spending enough time just talking together about intimate things. You may want to tell him that you miss just having time to cuddle with him with or without sex.

  • Step 4

    Sex. That got your attention didn’t it? If you want to have more sex, or less sex or have specific desires taken care of during lovemaking, it is very important that you talk to your mate about these things. Talk to them in a non-threatening way. For example, as a man maybe you would like your wife to be more dominant, or to be the one to approach you instead of you having to be the one to initiate all the time.

  • Step 5

    Communication. It is very important to communicate your wants and needs to each other and to do it in a loving, non-accusatory way. You never want to approach them with a, “You never do such and such!” statement. Be kind and use I feel statements and I want or need from you statements.

    Don’t be pushy, pouty or demanding. Remember to ask for what you need or want in a way that you would like to be asked. These are just some ways and examples to ask for what you want and need from your spouse. It can make your relationship a lot happier and satisfying for both of you.