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1. When he looks at random women. Researchers at the University of Stirling and the University of Glasgow recently found that men are more likely than women to find someone they’ve never met before attractive. But just because your guy is biologically primed to look doesn’t mean he’s looking to cheat. “Jealousy is driven by fear of losing your partner, or fear you’re not good enough,” says Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD, a psychologist in Basking Ridge, NJ, and author of the upcoming book Insecure in Love. “What counts is having a great sex life and complementing each other.”

2. When another woman looks at him…and he likes it. “Be like, ‘That’s right, he’s mine,’ and be proud!” suggests Amber Madison, a sex educator and therapist in New York City and author of the book Are All Guys Assholes? This is about validation-your guy wants to feel sexy, even though he’s not going to act on a stranger’s gaze. “We have this idea that men can’t control themselves, but I’ve found that they’re more interested in a relationship than having sex,” says Madison, who interviewed more than 1,000 men for her book. Translation: He might enjoy the attention, but he’s happy to be with you.

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Times You Have Absolutely No Reason to Get Jealous  was originally published on

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