Inspire U: The Podcast

I asked some of the top relationship experts to weigh in on what it takes to transition from single to engaged.


1. Change your mindset. First and foremost, you must adjust your attitude. “You’re no longer the selfish single person who does exactly what you want when you want,” says life coach, relationship expert and author Marie Dubuque. “And that can take some adapting.” One way to ease into this transition is by making plans with your significant other in mind. Instead of going out with your girlfriends twice a week, go out with them once and spend the other night with your fiancé. “Remember that marriage is about compromise, not control.”


2. Don’t worry so much about what it means to “be engaged.” If you focus too much on that sparkly ring on your finger, the engagement will mean more than your relationship. “You should continue to treat each other the same as before, demonstrating that your love can be sustained long-term despite inevitable highs and lows,” believes interpersonal communication expert Anastacia Kurylo, Ph.D.


3. Communicate with each other. No matter the phase of your relationship, strong communication is the most important quality for any successful couple. “Both parties must want to make this transition and take this next step. They must be interested in what to do and how it works,” shares licensed marriage and family therapist Lisa Bahar. “That understanding comes from communication of needs and willingness to do what’s best for the relationship.”

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Single to Engaged in Nine Weeks: Could You Make the Change?  was originally published on

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