So many women grow up being told lies about what men want in a relationship and what men are looking for in a wife. These lies are so rampant leaving many women asking: How do I make him think I don’t like him so that he wants me? How do I act more “chill” like his friend, so that he enjoys hanging out with me? How do I pretend I’m not mad at him when I feel so angry inside?
The truth is that most men are a lot more emotionally deft and capable of intimacy than they’re given them credit for. Many times, women let society’s lies create fear and this fear gets in the way of women being themselves around men and communicating their needs.
Lie #1: Men Want A Woman Who Is “One Of The Guys”
Maybe this was true in high school and college. Those are the years when you can hang with the guys in big groups, make out with a few male friends and act as if love and commitment is silly. That’s when a friends-with-benefits situation can work and everyone can experiment with relationships as they grow up.
But you aren’t in school anymore and grown, masculine, mature men want feminine women. They want to feel like they have to be on their best behavior to impress a date. Men fall in love when they feel that a certain woman pushes them to be a better man. And the best way to do this is to be a classy, elegant, confident lady who doesn’t accept “hang-out buddies with perks” as a substitute for a real relationship.
Lie #2: Men Hate Emotional Women
We’ve all heard how men shut down when a woman gets emotional. However, men don’t hate emotional women, they just hate when a woman can’t communicate her feelings in a safe, simple, direct way. Communication in relationships is key. What men want is to feel like they can hear a woman, understand what comes out of her mouth and then help her to feel better. When a man can soothe a woman’s feelings, he feels on top of the world. But when he feels overwhelmed by tears and screaming, he feels like a failure and withdraws.
Lie #3: Men Love Mystery
This is one of the biggest misinterpretations of the dating world. Men don’t want to be left wondering who a woman really is and what she’s actually doing when she elusively says “just busy.” Keeping a man interested by keeping him feeling uncertain is not going to lead to love. What men want is to be caught up in the mystery of your femininity. Men love how foreign women can seem: all those beauty products, so much empathy and softness, such ease in expressing vulnerability, such luscious sensuality. Feminine mystique is the kind of mystery a man loves.
Lie #4: Men Don’t Appreciate Smart, Funny Women
Don’t listen to Joan Rivers when she barks about how men don’t appreciate funny women. And that’s the problem: Men don’t like sarcasm.
There is a time and a place for certain types of jokes. If your jokes are more spiteful and raunchy than endearing and goofy, maybe you need to step back and take a better look at yourself. What men want is to feel emotionally safe with a woman and have a good time with her.
Lie #5: Men Only Want What They Can’t Have
This goes along with the lie that men love mystery. A mature, commitment-friendly man who is looking for a wife and wants a family isn’t interested in chasing skirts. He wants to know a woman more. Men who only want what they can’t have are unaccountable boys.
What men want is to feel like the woman they date has worth. And that starts with a woman’s self-worth.
Source: Your Tango
