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Being a good lover doesn’t mean you’re an expert in the bedroom; it means you’re an expert at relationships. To find out if you’re a good lover, take the following test. Circle the appropriate answer to each question: Y=Yes, NW = Needs Work.

1. I am patient when things aren’t going my way. I don’t blow up often. I’m steady and reliable. Y – NW

2. I am kind to others. I like to do little things to please others, and I don’t expect anything in return. Y – NW

3. I am pretty much content with whom I am and what I have. I don’t envy the possessions or achievements of others. Y – NW

4. I am modest. Some of what I have is better than what others have, however, I do not boast about it. Y – NW

5. I am humble. I am not pompous and self-righteous. Y – NW

6. I am able to honor others. When someone is more successful than I am, I can be happy for them and let them know. Y – NW

7. I am thoughtful for others. It is easy for me to give compliments. Y – NW

8. I am gentle and respectful to others. Y – NW

9. It is easy for me to forgive others when they hurt me. Y – NW

10. I am good at encouraging others. Y – NW

11. I am able to overlook the mistakes of others. I don’t have a little private book somewhere so I can keep a record of the bad things people do to me. Y – NW

12. I love the truth and hate evil. Y – NW

13. I protect the people I love. Y – NW

14. I am a trusting person. Y – NW

15. I am a hopeful person. Y – NW

16. I am able to persevere even when my relationships are making radical changes for whatever reasons. Y – NW

17. It is easy for me to share my feelings. Y – NW

18. It is easy for me to say, “I love you.” Y – NW

19. I am open to suggestions on how to improve myself and my relationships. Y – NW

So, how’d you do? Plenty of Ys or were there more NWs than you wanted? Did you notice the test had nothing to do with your mate, your children or your parents? It had to do with you. Here’s why: your ability to love does not depend on the lovability of others, it depends solely upon you.