Is it really love? You’re going have to truly make sense of your feelings first off. Are you really in love with your ex? Or are you just lonely, and figure why not go back to what once felt comfortable? Be careful now, and be honest with yourself. It’s easy to confuse these two emotions. It’s easy to remember a few sweet times together, then all of a sudden you trick yourself into thinking it’s something that it’s really not. Obviously there was things that made you be with this person at one point. Have a clear head about what you’re really feeling though. Otherwise you could be heading down a bad road again. Don’t repeat the same thing over again. You shouldn’t be just looking at the same reasons why you should give it another chance. That won’t work.
Examine why it went wrong. Truly take the time to think about what happen. Obviously you have to examine where it went wrong, before you begin to try to pick the pieces up and put them back together. You’re going to need to have a real understanding what both of you did wrong.
Learn from what happen. You cannot just say, “hey, I want to be with so-and-so again, let’s just do it.” You guys ended things for a reason, right? Probably more than one reason most the time. Have you two really grown and learn from these mistakes? There’s always mistakes that go two ways in a relationship. No one is perfect. You can’t have that mindset either, it was all their fault. Where aren’t talking about whose more to blame. Mistakes are something that we all make in life. Are you going to learn from the ones that were killing the relationship on your part? Is he or she truly going to learn from the ones they made that was killing the relationship on theirs? No one is perfect, there’s always going to be small mistakes and misunderstandings. Sometimes small ones grow into big ones. You two are going to have to figure that out. If there’s no progress, then there’s no point in going back.
Examine what went right. No one said you should just think about the bad. Remembering the good is okay, as long as you’re not distorting the good for a fantasy. Which we’ve all done before I’m sure. Maybe there was parts to them that you overlooked at times and took for granted. Sometimes it takes losing a good thing, to realize how good it was.
Discuss this with them. Have a long talk over everything that happen. If they’re not interested in talking, or they are not taking it serious. Do NOT get back together. That means they’re not serious about changing what went wrong and growing from it. They’ll just do exactly what they did before. They have to be on the same page with you, be truly serious about evolving the relationship. Otherwise it will be back to exactly how it was.
Both of you have to be reasonable. You got to accept who they are, they have to accept you. But both of you have to be more reasonable and giving to each other what the other person needs. Think about what their needs are, and work on fulfilling them better. Then they must do and agree on the same thing. Make a pack that both of you will learn to understand what one another feels, talk things over better and try to work on making each other happy. You two got to work on compromising and working harder together as a couple.